The Dead Sea is formally known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once beat a wall at tennis.
Chuck Norris always beat The Incredible Hulk in the long distance jump, track and field events.
Chuck Norris isn't a boy scout, he's a man scout.
There isn't any life on Mars because Chuck Norris has already been there.
That's not an eclipse, it's the sun hiding from Chuck Norris.
A state trooper pulled Chuck Norris over the other day. Being a man who respects the law, Chuck let him off with a warning.
Chuck Norris makes onion cry.
If the Statue of Liberty is an amusement park, Chuck Norris would spend all day INSIDE her.
The apocalypse tried to come in 2000 but it saw Chuck Norris, so it decided to try and come later.
Chuck Norris hit a ball out of the park. He didn't swing a bat to hit it, he just scared the ball out of the park.
Chuck Norris can alphabetize the M&Ms.
Chuck Norris once donated blood to someone, that guy is now Superman.
Chuck Norris's favorite pick-up line. "May I push your stoool in?" Nobody ever said no.
Chuck Norris called McDonald through the television.
Chuck Norris doesn't use fancy pick-up lines, he used: "Now."
Chuck Norris told a dead man to shut up, and he did.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in its chin, their desendents are now known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When Chuck Norris goes to a library, he looks for Guinness Book of Records in the comic section.
Chuck Norris teaches a car to drive.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
There's no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was feeling cold, so he turned the sun up.
Life insurance premiums are based on how far you live from Chuck Norris.
The Black Eyed Peas were originally named "The Peas".... until they met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris watches 4D television.
Some magicians can walk through water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris doens't flush the toilet, he scare the shit out of it.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can never have a heart attack. His heart is not foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris once haunted his baby and the baby screams till today. That baby is Justin Bieber.
When Alexander Graham Bell first invented the telephone, he had two miss calls from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
Lord Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "he who must not be named.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
You know Stephen Hawkins right? The retarded guy in the wheelchair? They said only one guy has ever outsmarted Chuck Norris, and he got what he deserved.
