those relatives from KL came again. as in AGAIN. with them here, life seems to b in a choke hold. chaotic and stupid.
a lot has happened in these 3 days n god it just wont stop. lets just say that elder relatives arent always friendly even in front of ppl u dont see everyday.
one disturbing thing. its always a tradition of the Wong's family tat when alot of relatives have meal together, u get two tables. One for the elders and another for kids as u may say. Me, my bro n my 3 cousins(2 younger boys and 1 elder girl) has always sat in the other table until year 2000 something n tats when 1 of them moved to the main table since she's old enough or something. n tat leaves 4 of us on the second table. but since my dad left, there's been an empty space.
on sunday when i was walking to the second table with my plate, my aunt told me: " come sit with us, there's a place." i knew what she meant even if she didn't say it out loud. it was in her face. n then everything came back... for the whole meal i just sat there silently. My dad used to b the one bringing up topics. I used to eavesdrop on them from the other table. now im sititng with them, the elders. it's like im taking my dad's place. i knew that im the one responsible now but this... i just dont know how to respond to it. i went blank.
n yesterday i went to see him. i almost broke down there. he was such a good father, n he will always be. he taught me everything i know, but it clearly wasnt enough. i wished he was still here to finish my education. how to be a human, a man.
we used to go fishing. n he was the one who taught me which line to use, how to spot fish 'flower', even how to drive a boat. fix a door, cabinet, lighting, plumbing, gardening, rear fishes, everything! he even planned to teach me how to drive.
all i wanted to say is, to everyone who parent's still here, appreciate them. don't wait until they're gone n then regret that u nvr spent time with them. to me, time just isnt enough
