i just saw something. its not my dad nor UFOs nor ghosts. those wont make me the me i am now. defeated, tired of life and torn away from the crowd.
i was perfectly happy a minute ago. till i saw it. all my false hope shattered. a fragile glass smashed into millions of tiny unrecoverable pieces. lost, all is lost.
im not gonna post the draft i wrote last night. the draft i wrote because of the despair inside me.
fighting for something i've believe in, what drives me forward, something tat i would take a bullet for, the feeling tat its all worth it, its heaven. a helping hand when i fell in the rain, a rope when i fall into a canyon, the sight of an aircraft when deserted on an island, lost, everything.
im now an oblivion, deprived of what makes the basics of survival. survival, its wat i've been trying to do. isnt it? to survive, one must have a goal, a summit to aim at, a beach to head to. i, have none. wats the excuse for me to b living?
even i could not answer tat. family? friend? or my dog who prefer his ball instead of me now?
i am sick and tired of this miserable life. call me watever u want, im not gonna care. dont know, dont care!
i've lost my beacon in the dark, the lighthouse in the storm, yet there's a rogue wave heading my way. life's been nice before all of this, i thank all of u from the bottom of my heart... without wax
